On coping

I just read the latest Andie Fox column and I think you should, too.  Go on, I'll wait.
It's a beautiful, thoughtful article on things we don't discuss much in public:  fear, resilience and coping.

Becoming a single parent made me confront a lot of fears.  In very early parenthood, I often wondered how on earth people did it alone, and then all of a sudden, I had to, too.

Somehow I managed.  I called my mother a lot.  I leaned on my friends in ways I would never have dreamed of before, and somehow they didn't mind.  Things got done, or didn't, and either way I muddled through.

There were a lot of firsts.  The first time I drove to Sydney alone with my son.  The first time I backed a trailer.  A first night with my son at his father's house.  Most terrifyingly, a first date.

All through my university years, I had a note on my desk that said 'I just have to cope, I don't have to cope well.'  

Now I look back on that time and wonder.  I was so scared and yet I did so much.  It was so very hard, but every fear faced made the next easier, and the next.

These days life is good.  Sharing the parenting is something I will never again take for granted. It is such a relief to have a second pair of grown-up hands to read a story or run to the shops.  But more than that, it is truly wonderful to have somebody nearby to share those tiny moments that make parenting such a joy.

Underneath all that goodness is a new truth.    However much I value having Tren here as a co-parent, I will never again be scared of going it alone.  I know I am strong.
I know I can cope.
I know I can cope well.